When Emotions Feel Too Much

When difficult events happen, some people instinctively disconnect from their feelings—it can all feel too overwhelming. Rather than falling apart, they shut down emotionally, going numb. But emotional shutdown isn’t healing. Over time, avoiding feelings narrows what therapists call your window of tolerance—your ability to stay grounded in the face of emotional stress.

Why Feelings Matter

Emotions are not the enemy. We evolved to have them because they guide survival.
  • Fear alerts us to danger.
  • Contentment lets us rest and restore.
Being with emotions—even painful ones—helps the body move through what it needs to. In somatic therapy, this is done gently, with respect for your body’s natural rhythm.

What Is Pendulation?

Pendulation is a technique from Somatic Experiencing®—a body-based trauma therapy developed by Dr. Peter Levine. It involves gently moving attention between sensations of distress and sensations of calm in the body. This back-and-forth process helps restore regulation to your nervous system, allowing you to slowly build capacity to stay present in stressful moments. It’s often used in individual therapy and transformative counselling with trained therapists to help clients process trauma without overwhelm.

How to Practice Pendulation

  1. Create a Safe Space Choose a quiet place where you feel safe. Take a few breaths.
  2. Recall a Mildly Distressing Event Bring to mind something emotionally uncomfortable but manageable. Notice sensations—tightness, tension, heat, or discomfort.
  3. Describe the Distress Name what you feel with a descriptive word: jumpy, locked, fear, dark.
  4. Find a Calm or Neutral Area Shift attention to a part of your body that feels relaxed or neutral—your hands, heart, or legs. Use a word or image like clear, soft, peace, free.
  5. Pendulate Alternate your focus between the distress and calm. Stay with the discomfort for a few breaths, then return to calm. Repeat several rounds.
  6. Observe Your Body’s Responses You may notice a sigh, movement, or desire to shake. These are signs your nervous system is releasing held tension—part of the natural stress cycle.
  7. Repeat as Needed With practice, you can use pendulation with other memories or triggers.

What’s Happening in the Body?

Pendulation helps activate and settle the autonomic nervous system. It gently stretches your window of tolerance, allowing you to stay present without becoming overwhelmed. This practice is especially helpful in trauma recovery, anxiety management, and emotional regulation—and is a key somatic therapy tool.

Working With a Therapist

While pendulation can be done alone, it’s often more effective with guidance. At Serene Heart Counseling, our trained therapists in Milton, Mississauga, and Burlington specialize in somatic therapy, nervous system regulation, and trauma-informed care. Whether you’re exploring individual therapy or looking for transformative counselling, our team will walk with you—gently, and at your pace.

Ready to Try Pendulation With a Therapist?

Book a therapy session at one of our three locations—Milton, Mississauga, or Burlington—and work with a therapist experienced in somatic techniques like pendulation.