Why Exhaustion Isn’t Always Physical
You keep saying you’re tired. You cut back on caffeine, try to get more sleep, maybe even book a massage. And still, you feel worn out. Here is something most people never hear: exhaustion is not always about your schedule or how much rest you get. Sometimes, it is your nervous system running on empty. And sometimes, it is the result of the fawn response.What is the Fawn Response?
Most people have heard of fight, flight, and freeze as ways our body responds to stress. There is another one: fawn. The fawn response is when we people-please, appease, or over-accommodate to stay safe or liked. It often develops when we learn, consciously or not, that prioritizing others keeps us away from conflict, criticism, or disconnection. It can sound like:- “Sure, I can take that on.”
- “I don’t mind, really.”
- “I’m fine. It’s not a big deal.”
How the Fawn Response Drains Your Energy
Fawning can look like being the reliable one, the peacekeeper, or the go-to problem solver. While this might have helped you survive or belong at some point, it comes at a cost: your energy, your authenticity, and your nervous system’s sense of safety. Constantly scanning for others’ needs, moods, and reactions so you can stay on good terms is exhausting. Over time, it can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself, even if you are technically getting enough rest.A Relatable Example
Imagine someone who agrees to every extra work task, takes on family responsibilities without question, and always checks if everyone else is okay while ignoring their own needs. Eventually, they start feeling burnt out, irritable, and unsure of what they want. This is what the fawn response can look like in everyday life.Healing from the Fawn Response
Healing is not about turning into someone who refuses to help others. It is about finding a balance where you can care for others without losing yourself. That might mean:- Learning and keeping healthy boundaries
- Reconnecting to your own needs
- Building enough safety in your body to handle the discomfort of not pleasing everyone
You Do Not Have to Earn Your Rest
You are allowed to rest simply because you are human. You do not need to over-give to deserve love or connection. If you see yourself in the fawn response, know that you are not alone. At Serene Heart Counselling, we can help you release old patterns, reclaim your energy, and feel safe in your own skin.Book a session today in Mississauga, Milton, or Burlington and start your healing journey.